Post by Todd on Apr 6, 2011 12:18:43 GMT -5
W3 SUPERSTARS
The show kicks off with Johnny Satan and Suzy Succubus conducting a creepy initiation ceremony for Lil Torquemada with all he bells and whistles including a giant goat’s head and pentagram. At the conclusion of the ceremony Johnny Satan tells Torquemada he must find a victim by the end of tonight’s show and perform a blood sacrifice in his new boss's honor.
Torquemada return at the end of the show with his new found victim former W3 owner now janitor Chief Jay Woodpecker someone who Johnny Satan truly despises. The Devil’s Triangle (Satan, Succubus, and Torquemada) proceed to tie the Chief to the ring post when Jay Woodpecker's old tag team partner Buddy Hotpants jumps up from his position at the announce table and runs in to make the save but gets beaten down pretty quick. The show ends with Torquemada about to impale the old Chief with Satan’s favorite pick fork ( Betsy Sue) when ALX runs in and cleans house.
OTHER STUFF
- Tonight's opening match between Sheik Yerbouti and Shiitake Jr. was originally scheduled as dark match for Brain Freeze until the Sheik stayed out too late the night before and called in sick. The match starts out with decent back and forth action but after Shiitake Jr’s second near fall (fungus face plant) it becomes apparent that something isn’t quite right here. Sheik Yerbouti kicks out of three more pin attempts and each time Shiitake Jr. takes referee Millie Swimsuit aside to have a talk. The match ends in a time limit draw at the 20 minute mark. This is the first time I’ve ever seen this happen in a opening match to be honest. There’s more activity following the match when general manager Dicky Cravatte comes down to the ring waving his arms, yells something in the Sheik’s face, and then awards the match to Shiitake Jr. Not sure what just happened here but it’s bound to create some online buzz tomorrow morning.
Winner Shiitake Jr. via Dusty finish in 20:00 **1/2
- Pillchard Phineas Phatback’s newest recruit from Myrtle Creek Oregon makes his W3 debut against everyone’s favorite punching bag Severe Wu Ping. The match is quick of course with Pillchard getting the squash with a PUGBUSTER. The only thing impressive about this match was the fact Wu Ping actually lasted more than 2 minutes a personal best for him.
Winner - Pillchard via PUGBUSTER in 3:12 DUD
- General Manager Dicky Cravatte announces the name of this month's pay per view THREE'S A CROWD
- Smoothupinya officially kicks off the Diva Challenge with team Cookiepuss leader Kween Squatifah Cookiepuss squaring off against Team Sayanora’s Rhinestone Cowgirl. Cookiepuss barley gets in a few punches and stomps before Rhinestone Cowgirl delivers a stampede shoulder block that knocks Cookiepuss clear out of the ring making her the match by count out.
- Afterwards Rhinestone Cowgirl’s team mates ( Haikyu Sayonara, Wild Thang, and Gumslinger) come down to the ring to celebrate the big win while Cookiepuss and her team ( Eager Beaver, Beulah Gorillacutty, and Fifi Cheveaux Aissle) storm the ring. All eight women end up brawling inside the ring with Smoothupinya getting caught in the middle. Good introduction here for the Diva Challenge with all eight women involved
WINNER - Rhinestone Cowgirl Via stampede shoulder block in 2:30 *1/2
- Doctor Mutato is shown in his laboratory shooting electricity through Frankenpuss ( strapped down to an exam table) and tells us that Frankenpuss is invoking his rematch clause at this month’s pay per view Three’s A Crowd. I pretty much expected a rematch between Flex Manley and Frankenpuss this month but I’m not sure when the W3 decided that rematch clauses should cover people who didn’t originally hold a title. Seems to me they could have come up with someone better than this
- First time video footage from Brain Freeze is shown with Mona Mammeries chasing Thunderball backstage trying to get her belt back. Mammeris and Thunderball brawl in the hall way when The Goddess Of Wrestling Artemis Jubblies comes out beating down both ladies and walks away with the W3 Ladies Title Belt.
- After the video is shown Artemis Jubblies cuts a promo in the ring about being the rightful W3 ladies champion which leads to a confrontation between Jubblies, Thunderball, and Champion Mona Mammeries. Somehow this turns in to a triple threat match with Artemis and Thunderall both being disqualified for brawling outside the ring. This wasn’t announced as match and it just sort of turned in to one without any notice. I’m guessing Mona was the winner because referee Millie Swimsuit gave Mona her belt back at the end of the match. I’m not even sure if this was a non title or title match. This one was a real head scratcher.
Mona Mammeries def Artemis Jubblies and Thunderball by DQ in 6:11 **
Quick Results
Shiitake Jr. def Sheik Yerbouti via Dusty finish **1/2
Pillchard def Severe Wu Ping DUD
Rhinestone Cowgirl def Kween*1/2
Mona Mammeries def Thunderball and Artemis Jubblies ( Triple Threat Match) ** ?