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Post by Vidtek on Jul 3, 2008 17:25:43 GMT -5
Setting Orange, Chaos 45, YOLD 3177: W3 Card #1: Inception! From the W3 Arena (commonly refered to as The Ar3na, pronounced Ahr-THREE-nah). (We see a shot of Flex Manley's face as he is on his back apparently bench pressing something. There is little reaction to this untill the shot widens to show that what he is benching is his valet Mona Mammeries! At this there is a large pop from the crowd. Undercover Alien comes up to the pair.) UA: Flex, I'd like to ask you some questions about your match tonight. FM: Sure, just let me finish this set. Nintey-eight, nintey-nine, one-thousand. (He sets Mona down and she hands him a towel as he stands.) UA: Now Flex, you face off against Buddy Hotpants tonight for the W3 Heavyweight Title. What are your thoughts going in to this match? (Flex finishes whiping down with the towel and gives it to Mona as she hands him an energy drink.) FM: My thoughts? (He pops open the can and takes a heavy swig) My thoughts are that I am totally going to pound this guy! No wait...I mean I am, like, so going to bust his a**! No, that didn't come out right either. Dang man, it's hard to cut a promo on a guy that's a homo. Hey, that rhymed! Awesome! (He joyfully guzzles down the rest of his drink, crushes the can on his head and bankshots it toward the trash. It bounces off of Mona's chest before landing in the can.) Alright baby, nice assist! UA: (Clears his throat) Well, your opponent's preferances aside, how do you plan to counter his highly unorthodox style? FM: Unorthodox? Isn't that, like, a religion? UA: Umm, no. It means unconventional, different... FM: Oh, right, cause he's gay! Oh I totally have that under control. Every time he tries one of those moves on me I'm just going to look over at my girl (pulls Mona up close to him and holds her at his side) and, like, totally remember that I like chicks, dude! UA: Well that will hopefully be a winning strategy. Good luck, Flex. We'll see you in the main event tonight on W3 TV! (The intro vid rolls. Following that we see Undercover Alien in the middle of the ring in his trademark western wear and black hat.) UA: Hello tonight everyone and welcome to our first telivised W3 event! I'll be your ring announcer and commentator, Undercover Alien, and do we have a flurry of wrestling action coming at you tonight! The Tandem Titles are up for grabs as Dr. Mutato's demented duo of La Cucaracha Grande and Dung Beetle Bailey take on the tasty twosome of Chalupacabra and Shiitake Jr. Plus the Jagged Edge title is on the line in a falls count anywhere frenzy between Busta Capp and Hardcorps. Also tonight Johnny Satan takes on Abraham Lincoln X, our own underdog Pillchard faces tha big cat Frankenpuss, and in our main event the W3 Heavyweight title hangs in the ballance when Flex Manley takes on Buddy Hotpants! But now, let's start the show with our opening bout! The first fight of the night features Wacky Kabuki taking on Monkey Chan. Kabuki cavorts to the ring to the boos of the crowd. He climbs up the turnbuckle and inflates a large balloon in the shape of Monkey Chan's head...then pops it with an oversized needle. Monkey Chan comes to the ring holding Eep-Eep's hand. The fans are cheering, and that upsets Eep-Eep who bares his teeth at the fans at ringside. As Chan tries to get in the ring, Eep-Eep shoves him causing him to fall. But Chan kips up and the fans cheer louder. This doesn't prevent Kabuki from starting a shoving match with Chan, which Kabuki wins. The two men go back and forth, trading moves in a gracefull dance of two buffoons. But in the end it is Wacky Kabuki with his FINAL PERFORMANCE who gets the win. Eep-Eep looks extatic. UA: Well things sure didn't go Monkey Chan's way tonight. Now let's head backstage to see what's going on. (Backstage Buddy Hotpants is doing some rather enteresting lunges as Fifi Cheveux d'Aisselle files her nails nearbye. Phineus T. Phatback walks up to the two of them.) PTP: Buddy! BH: What's up, boss? PTP: You know darn well what's up! You have to win the title tonight! BH: You know I will. That muscle beach reject won't know what hit him. PTP: He better not, because if he wins I will not be happy! Understand?! (Phatback walks away before Hotpants can answer him. Fifi walks up behind him.) FCdA: Quelle graisse, idiot gonflé. BH: You can say that agian. (Meanwhile, in another section of The Ar3na, Morgoloth and Mo are trying to decide on what to buy from a vending machine when Lil' Torquemada comes up and pushes past him, puts some money in and punches the buttons, taking the last Honey Bun. Mo makes a sad noise and Morgoloth grabs Torque as he tries to walk away.) M&M: I was going to buy that for my brother. LT: Well, I got to it first. M&M: I said that's mine! LT: (Takes a bite out of the Bun) Nawt annymagh. (Torquemada walks away leaving Morgoloth seething and Mo with a frown on his face.) Back in the ring Undercover Alien announces Koala Bruce who climbs in the ring and waves to the crowd. He then introduces Inbred Red, who comes to ringside and starts shouting at Bruce. Bruce shouts back some before turning his back on Red. Red then takes that opprotunity to try a jumping elbow drop onto Bruce, but Bruce moves and takes Red to school! He is trouncing the hillbilly until he tries a shoulder tackle off the ropes and Red moves! Red takes over and quickly applies the BIG BARH HUG, making Bruce tap out! UA: Well score one for the bear-hatting hillbilly. Time to check on some of the other tallent on tonight's show. (Abraham Lincoln X stands in front of a W3 banner. He adresses the camera.) ALX: My fellow enthusiasts, I must let it be known here and now that is my intention to defeat my chosen opponent for this eavning; a man by the name of Johnny Satan. I shall do this so that it may prove to all who bear witness that evil shall not triumph over a strong mind and a diciplined body. So I ask you a single question tonight, Mr. Satan....Whatcha gonna do when the Great Emancipator runs wild on you!?! (ALX tears his shirt off and starts a posedown as the camera cuts to another shot of Shiitake Jr and Chalupacabra in a locker room "discussing" stratagy. It doesn't look to be going anywear as neither of them speak a common language except for crude charades and pantomime. The only thing that can be plainly observed is that both men are hoping to win the match tonight.) The Lady's title match is next and boy are the fans ready for it. Mona Mammeries is introduced first and the whole building shakes from the noise of her crowd reaction! The reaction to her challenger, Suzy Succubus, is quite a bit less enthusiastic. This angers Suzy, who storms her way into the ring looking for a fight, but Mona cuts her off as she enters and takes controll of the match. Suzy is able to regain controll early in the match and holds it most of the way throught, using her Devil Dust and a lot of choking. However, after a quick reverse of Suzy's attempted atomic drop, Mona is then able to use THANKS FOR THE MAMMERIES to shock Suzy just long enough to get a three count and become the first W3 Lady's Champion! UA: Well not the most scientific of moves but it gets the job done here tonight. Mona Mammeries is our new Lady's Champion and congradulations to her. But we're not going to let up on the action, so let's head back to the ring for our next bout! The pugnacious Pillchard is taking on Frankenpuss next. Or at least that was going to be the plan! After Pillchard is announced but before Frankenpuss could step in the ring Pillchard went out and started hammering away on the big green cat-thing! Frankenpuss retaliated and the two men battled back and forth out on the floor until security teams and Dr. Mutato are able to contain the two men. The match is ruled a no contest. UA: Some bad blood in the age old saga of cats against dogs here tonight. Now I undersand we are going backstage again for more comments from tonight's tallent! (La Cucaracha Grande and Dung Beetle Baily are standing in front of the W3 banner now.) LCG: Tonight, my bug brother and me are gonna squish those two food losers into little lumps of left-overs! DBB: Oh yeah, we are going to beat them down! Cause we are the biggest and best tallent in the Tandem division of W3. LCG: And if any team out there begs to differ, we have a reminder fors yas... DBB: We eat crap like you for breakfast! (The two bugs leave the screen which wipes into a shot of Oog standing in front of the vending machine. He watches as a sound tech guy walks up to it, puts his cions in, pushes some buttons and gets his food. Oog then tries it himself, putting in some change {What, like cavemen are broke?} and pushing some buttons then waiting for his food. However his selection gets stuck in the turning part that despences it. Oog is not happy and tapps the glass...nothing. So then hits the glass...nothing. Finally, after a frustrated kick to the machine with no results, Oog finally goes balistic, picking up he nearby club and proceding to demolish the poor vending machine! When he is satisfied that the machine shall never defy him again, he simply reaches down, take his desired treat and leaves.) Back in the ring the Jagged Edge title match is begining. Busta Capp is in the ring as Hardcorps slides under the ropes and the two start brawling before the ref gets the bell rung! They procede to brawl all over the Ar3na, hitting each other with anything that isn't nailed down and a few things that might have been at some point. However, it is Busta Capp who is able to hit a GAT SPLAT followed by two consecutive GHETTO GUILLOTINEs to get him the win and the Jagged Edge Title! UA: Busta Capp throwin down and snatchin one off for his homies! Or something like that. Anyway, here come the combatants for our next match. As Salacious Rex is making his way to the ring, giving the hungry eye to some of the ringside fans, Oog comes charging up from behind him and smashes Rex against the security railing! He then tosses Rex into the ring and goes to work. The two men trade off on offence quite a bit, but in the end it is an uncontested DINO MUNCH that seals the caveman's fate and gives the win to Salacious Rex. UA: That Salacious Rex is tougher then old shoe leather! I hope Oog can recooperate from that bite. But now I'm being told there is some commotion in the locker room! (Backstage security is trying to seperate Morgoloth and Mo and Lil' Torquemada! They are having ahard time of it until Phineus T. Phatback walks in on the situatuion.) PTP: Everyone shut up! You two...or three, whatever, get down to that ring now! You guys want to fight, don't do it where the fans can't pay to see it! (Security lets the two men go and they head down to the ring for an unschedualed showdown!) Morgoloth and Mo and Lil' Torquemada hit the ring at the same time and don't wait for the ref to get started! H does ring the bell, but not before Morgoloth (or Mo) can clean Torquemada's clock with a hard running clothesline! Morgoloth and Mo seem to have the match well in hand until Lil' Torquemada takes the match out of the ring. Morgoloth rams Torquemada's head into the ring steps. Torquemada calls the ref over and starts demanding that Morgoloth and Mo be disqualified for illegal double teaming! And the ref buys it! He calls for the bell and awards Torquemada the win via disqualification! Morgoloth and Mo are mad, and Lil' Torquemada teases them by making fake crying motions and rubbing his belly as if having eaten a good snack. UA: Well I never thought I would see that outcome! That has to be one of the strangest calls I have ever seen! The Tandem Title match is up next. Chalupacabra and Shiitake Jr. are in the ring when La Cucaracha Grande and Dung Beetle Bailey Pearl Harbor them! There is nothing the food fighters can do as Bailey completely KOs Shiitake Jr. and Cucaracha is able to hit his CUCARACHA PLANCHA on Chalupacabra to get the win and the Tandem belts! UA: The new Tandem champs make short work of their opponents here tonight. Perhapse Shiitake Jr. and Chalupacabra should look for other partners. But no time now cause our next match is about to get under way! Abraham Lincoln X comes to the ring to rousing cheers from the crowd. He climbs in the ring, rips his shirt off and does a posedown before his opponent, Johnny Satan is introduced. Satan doesn't get a warm reaction at all, but it doesn't seem to phase him. He climbs in the ring and catches a charging ALX with a tiltawhirl backbreaker followed by his VILEDRIVER. He only gets a two count so he continues to punish the presidential duplicate. After taking a brutal beating at the hands of Johnny Satan, though, ALX somehow finds the strength to come back! He sends Satan out of the ring with a Presidential Press, then follows him out and the two men brawl outside the ring. ALX throws Satan back into the ring and quickly hits him with THE EMANCIPATION DEVASTATION to get the win! UA: Well he had to come from behind to do it, but ALX made good on his promise to defeat Johnny Satan here tonight! BUt don't leave your seats yet fans, the main event is Next! Buddy Hotpants and Flex Manley square off for the W3 Heavyweight title, with Phineus T. Phatback at ringside! Hotpants tries to get the upper hand with his more flamboyiant style, but Flex is either to much of a man or too thick in the head to get it! He takes the fight straight to the macho, macho man. Hotpants tries everything he can to gain an upper hand but Flex is having none of it! Manley is able to use FLEX APPEAL to get the win and the W3 Heavyweight title! Phatback is vissibly POed! UA: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! MANLEY'S THE CHAMP! MANLEY'S THE CHAMP! AND PHINEUS T. PHATBACK IS LIVID! What a way to end our first show! Fans be sure to come back next week for even more exciting W3 action! This is Undercover Alein saying Goodnight from The Ar3na!
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Post by Vidtek on Jul 3, 2008 17:26:20 GMT -5
Setting Orange, Chaos 50, YOLD 3177, Chaoflux: W3 Card #2: Live from The Ar3na! (The following three matches where taped for the W3's online show) Kween Squatifa Cookiepuss beat Cap'n Bootielicious with THE COOKIE DUSTER Boston Terror looses to Amish Robot after a fallback piledriver. Dung Beetle Bailey wins over Mar Far Jinx using the BEETLE BOMB (The intro vid rolls and then we see Buddy Hotpants and Fifi Cheveux d'Aisselle are together talking when Phineus T. Phatback walks up to them, his face red.) PTP: You! I thought you said you could win that match! I thought you said you could get the title and keep it out of the meathooks of that bronzed bafoon! BH: And I will, trust me. I got caught off gaurd, that won't happen again. PTP: It better not! Now I'm putting you and this...french pastry in a mixed tag team match tonight against Mr. Muscles and his big chested bimbo. And you better not lose! (Phineus storms off as Buddy and Fifi watch.) FCdA: Il doit sérieusement observer son preasure de sang. BH: You said it, baby. (Back out at ringside Undercover Alien welcomes the fans to the show and announces the first match of the night.) The first match is a rematch from Inception. Pillchard takes on Frankenpuss in a Texas Death Match! Frankenpuss comes down to the ring first but Pillchard runs up from behind and nails him in the back with a running double ax! He then whips 'Puss into the security rail before tossing him into the ring. Pillchard climbs the turnbuckle to try a flying dive, but Frankenpuss catches him by the neck! The green golem stands and turns his goozle into a powerbomb and folows that with a FRANKENHAMMER! Pillchard can't get his shoulders up and Frankenpuss gets the win. UA: Well a quick win for Dr. Mutato's man tonight. Maybe Pillchard will think again before trying a jump from the ropes. Now let's check in backstage. (Marcus Membrane is "standing" in front of the W3 banner.) MM: *slurp* Tonight *slosh* I am going *gurgle* to get rid *burble* of a pest *squish* from my past. *blorp* Shiitake Jr. *slpug*, you think I *plub* am responsable *glug* for your being *lupb*. *mlub* But it is you *splish* who is responsable *plop* for me! *sklosh* And now *wolp* I will show you *florp* what it is *lumb* you created! Up next is a Tandem match between first time partners Monkey Chan and Koala Bruce and Circus Maximus (Wacky Kabuki and Tabooli). Monkey Chan does have Eep-Eep with him, which makes Bruce nervous as the chimp gives the Ausie very dirty looks whenever he tries to tag in to Chan. Meanwhile Tabooli gives the master of chimp-fu a beating from piller to post, getting the win with CIRCUS MAXIMUS. UA: Koala Bruce was no help to his partner tonight, and I'm not sure that Eep-Eep didn't have anything to do with it. I can't see what Monkey Chan sees in that ape. (We switch to backstage again, where Lil' Torquemada is sitting at a table reading a book when Morgoloth and Mo walk up to him.) M&M: You little worm! I don't know what you did last week, but you are going to pay! LT: I have no idea what you're talking about, hethan! I made sure the referee did his job correctly! M&M: Whatever, little man. Tonight I am going to turn you into paste. (Morgoloth and Mo walk away, leaving Lil' Torquemada blinking.) It's Marcus Membrane against Shiitake Jr. up next. Shiitake Jr. is in the ring first, working the crowd. He doesn't notice Marcus ooze his way up from under the ring behind him and Membrane takes the advantage by attacking him from beind! The sticky villian doesn't give an inch to the mushroom man, but somehow Shiitaki is able to get back on offence. It doesn't last, as Shiitake gets caught in a sunset flip by Marcus and the slime and surprise is enough to keep Shiitake's shoulders down for the three count. UA: Well Marcus Membrane sure made that look easy. Let's see what's going on backstage. (Mona Mammeries is pacing in a locker room. Flex Manley walks in, a bag of food from some health food joint in his hand.) Mona: Where have you been? We have a match tonight! FM: I know, babe! That's why I went out and got some killer sallads! Just put my plate under my mouth and I'll eat it while I do push ups. Hey, you can, like, sit on my back for added weight! Oh right! (Flex does set his food down and starts to eat and do push ups. Mona rolls her eyes, takes her sallad and sits on Flex's back.) Lil' Torquemada comes to the ring for his match against Morgoloth and Mo. However, Morgoloth and Mo come out with a mic. M&M: So you did decide to come out here, twig. Just so you know I have a little surprise for you. I've been talking with the fatman, and he agreed to do me a favor... Morgoloth and Mo climb into the ring just as Lil' Torquemada is turning back to his corner. He clubs the inquisitor in the back of the head with the mic! M&M: He made this a Texas Death Match! Torquy can't get it back together after the mic to the head. Morgoloth earns his "merciless" title as he crushes Lil' Torquemada like a paper cup. After a painfull looking DOUBLE OR NOTHING, Morgoloth gets the pin. However after the bell Johnny Satan and Hardcorpse come out from teh back and the three (or four) men go on the attack! Johnny Satan sets Torquemada up for a BEALZE-BOMB while Morgoloth and Mo grab his throat and the two men deliver a huge powerbomb/chokeslam combo! They then hold him down while Hardcorpse climbs the turnbuckle and crashes down with a falling headbutt! They leave Lil' Torquemada laying in the middle of the ring. UA: OH MY GAWD! THEY KILLED HIM! MORGOLOTH AND MO, JOHNNY SATAN AND HARDCORPSE HAVE DESTROYED LIL' TORQUEMADA! Can this night get any wilder! (While the ring is being cleared of Lil' Torquemada's broken body, we are treated to the first add for Phineus T. Phatback's latest money making idea...GRAPLEPALOOZA! Coming soon!) Once the paramedics have dragged Torque away the Main Event is ready to get underway! Flex Manley and Mona Mammeries are introduced first, but before they can get to the ring Buddy Hotpants jumps Flex from behind and Fifi Cheveux d'Aisselle does the same to Mona! The four combatants don't even bother to get in the ring as they brawl throught the Ar3na! The match is ruled a No Contest as other wrestlers come out from the locker rooms to break up the melee. UA: Well ask and you shall recieve! This is a bloody brawl! Get more security out here, they are going to tear the Ar3na apart! Fan's I'm getting out of here! See you next week, I hope! (The show ends on a shot of Buddy Hotpants and Flex Manley being held apart by a group of W3 stars.)
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Post by Vidtek on Jul 3, 2008 17:27:05 GMT -5
Setting Orange, Chaos 55, YOLD 3177 W3 Card #3 Live from The Ar3na! (The following three matches where taped for W3's online show) Amish Robot got a surprise victory over Frankenpuss using his Barn Raising Bomb. Fifi Cheveux d'Aiselle gota win over Eager Beaver with FLEUR-DE-L'AISSELLE. Chalupacabra wins over La Cucaracha Grande after a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. (After the opening vid and a short recap of the last show, we get to action right away with our opening bout.) The team of Johnny Satan and Hardcorpse (with Suzy Succubus at ringside) is already in the ring while Pillchard and Boston Terror make their way to the ring. The four men square off in the middle of the ring but nothing happens until the bell rings. The Dog Pound gets off to a slow start, unable to find their footing against their opponents. Johnny Satan keeps both canines off their game, but once he tags in Hardcorpse, the momentum shifts in favor fo the doggy duo! Pillchard is able to hit his PUGBUSTER on the undead extremeist and Boston Terror keeps Satan at bay while the ref counts the three! UA: What a way to kick of W3 TV this week! THe Dog Pound sure showed that they can get the job done even when outclassed. But now I'm getting word that something is going on backstage! (The shot cuts to Phineus T. Phatback's office where he is sitting at his desk. There is a knock at the door.) PTP: Come in. (Flex Manley walks in.) FM: You wanted to see me, boss? PTP: Yes I did, Flex. You see I'm not happy with what happened last week. The fans paid to see a match and instead they get a wild brawl. I can't have that on my program. So tonight I'm booking you in a match against Buddy Hotpants...inside a steel cage! FM: A cage match between me and Hotpants? Awesome! Thank's bossman, I'll go start working out right now! (Flex leaves and Phineus looks rather flustered that Flex wasn't upset at his match making.) Back out in the ring Abraham Lincoln X is cutting a promo ALX: Last week in this ring I bore witness to an event that made me shudder. The sheer voilence involved was of such a magnitude as to be unspeakable. And I want to be sure that those involved are punished for their actions. So Morgoloth and Mo, get out here so Honest Abe can kick your a**! Morgoloth and Mo do come out and climb into the ring. They and Abe get into a shoving match, but the twin headed terror gets the upper hand and keeps it. ALX tries his best to get the upper hand again, but to no avail. In the end DOUBLE OR NOTHING gives Morgoloth and Mo the victory. UA: Well maybe ol' Abe had good intentions, but it looks like Morgoloth and Mo where a little to much for him. (In the back Salacious Rex is sitting and reading a National Geographic dinosaur special issue when Oog walks up to him) O: Oog want rematch! SR: What? O: Oog say Oog want rematch! And Ooog want it tonight! SR: What for? I already beat you. I am the superior life form and you are a hairy near-ape. O: Oog not care what big head lizard man say! Oog want rematch and Oog will win! SR: Allright, Encino Man, you're on. O: That's what Oog thought! (Oog walks away, letting Salacious get back to his magazine.) Koala Bruce is in the ring waiting for his opponent, Inbred Red. Phatback schedualed this rematch as a Texas Death Match and Bruce looks like he has some fire tonight! Inbred Red comes storming to the ring, but Bruce blocks him and the two men start a wild fist fight! Bruce comes out on top and tosses Red into the ring where he tears into him some more. The unfortunate Hillbilly from Hogwallup gets his hid handed too him all over the ring and outside of it too as Bruce will not let up one bit. An AUSSIE DEATH GRIP is all Bruce needs to seal the deal against the bear hating hick. UA: That sure is a side of Koala Bruce we don't get to see very often. He was one mad marsupial. Now let's see what's going on backstage. (Buddy Hotpants is by himself in the craft services room when Phineus T. Phatback comse in.) BH: Well, what happened? PTP: The dupe actually likes the idea of a cage match! I can't stand that oaf! If you don't win tonight there will be consiquinces, Buddy! BH: I can beat him, boss, don't worry. Just keep in mind that when I do... PTP: Don't worry, you'll get what's coming to you...either way. On that ominous warning we head back to ringside where Oog is in the ring when Salacious Rex waylays him from behind! He and Oog spill out onto the floor where they continue the donnybrook. Security comes out and tries everything they can to seperate the two. The match is rulled a double DQ, but it doesn't look like Oog or Salacious Rex really care. UA: What a brawl! What a brawl! These two men can't stand each other! After that, what can our main event have in store?! (A spot for the upcoming PPV Grapplepalooza is shown, toating it as "W3's grandest spectical of them all!") The cage has been set up for the main event! Buddy Hotpants comes down to the ring looking very confident, even though the fans are booing him. He climbs into the ring and waits on Flex. Flex gets a much better reaction, although not nearly as big as it could be since Mona isn't with him. He hands the title belt to the ref outside the ring and climbs inside the cage. The door is locked and away we go! Buddy of course gets the early upper hand but Flex quickly turns the match back to his favor. He keeps on Buddy, not letting the "macho macho man's" tactics get to him. However, after shooting Hotpants into the turnbuckle, Flex tries for a running splash in the corner. Buddy moves and Flex hits his head square on the corner of the cage with a loud clang. Buddy quickly seases the moment and covers Flex and gets the one, two, three! The fans are upset but Buddy seems to be happy as can be! UA: Buddy did it! Buddy did it! Maybe Flex's head isn't as thick as everyone thinks. What will this mean for the champ and the challenger?! What wil happen next week?! (Hotpants stands over an unconcious Manley as the show goes off the air.)
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Post by Vidtek on Jul 3, 2008 17:27:39 GMT -5
Setting Orange, Chaos 60, YOLD 3177 W3 Card #4 Live from The Ar3na! (The following three matches where tapped for W3's online show.) Boston Terror was disqualified in his match against Tabooli. Wild Thang uses her P.M.S.T.F. to get a submission win over Rhinestone Cowgirl. Pillchard gets a win over Hardcorpse when the ghoulish grappler gets himself disqualified. (The opening vid is followed by a recap of last week's show. We then see Buddy Hotpants walking into Phineus T. Phatback's office.) BH: Hey, boss, what did I tell you! I knew I could beat Flex Manley last week inside that cage. And now I know I can beat him tonight for the W3 Championship title! PTP: Not so fast Buddy. The way I saw it last week the cage beat Manley, not you. I'm not so sure you are ready to face Flex. BH: Whoa, what's with the about face attitude? I thought we wanted to take the belt off of Manley? PTP: Oh I do, trust me I do. It's just that your inability to really impress me in that indevor has casued me to question if you are the right man for the job. But I am a man of my word so you will get your title match tonight. But rest asured, Mr. Hotpants, should you fail to impress me again...I will find someone who does. (Phatback waves Buddy off, and he leaves looking a little flustered. As he leaves...Salacious Rex enters and gives Buddy the scalely eyeball as they pass.) Out in the ring the open bout is a Falls Count Anywhere match for the W3 Jagged Edge title, a title that must be defended in hardcore matches. The champ, Busta Capp is ready in the ring waiting for his challenger, and as Johnny Satan makes his way to the ring Busta slides out and the two start brawling in the isle! The two men beat the heck out of each other all over the building and by the end both men are bleeding buckets. The match ends when Johnny Satan hits his VILEDRIVER outside the training room (much to the shock of Flex Manley and Koala Bruce) and Jack Schlapp couts the three, giving the Jagged Edge title to Satan! UA: MY GAWD WHAT A BRAWL! And that was just the first match of the night! What does the rest of the night have in store?! (Backstage Morgoloth and Mo are arguing over weather or not to use creamer in their coffee when Abraham Lincoln X walks up to them.) ALX: A word with you gentlemen. M&M: What do you want? ALX: Last week, you used your...unique condition to gain an unfair advantage in our contest. I fully intend to make good on my promise to show you the error of your ways. Therefore I have secured for myself a tag team partner to face you two-on-two. M&M: A partner, huh? Alright, clone-boy, you're on! Meet me in the ring with your "partner" and we'll see who sees the error of what. ALX: Indeed we shall. (The two men part ways. The shot fades to the inside of Phatback's office where Salacious Rex is still there, sitting on Phatback's couch watching a monitor.) PTP: How about that opening bout! I love that stuff! Just like last week when you and Oog had that huge brawl. SR: Yeah, that was fun. PTP: Yeah, but it did deprive the fans of a match, and you know how I hate to do that. So I booked you and Oog in another match tonight. SR: You did what?! PTP: Settle down, big guy. Look, once you take Oog down tonight I will see to it that you never have to face him again, OK? SR: You better! I am so much better than that greasy Gieco reject. PTP: I know, and after tonight you may be headed for much bigger things. (Phatback and Rex laugh as the shot cuts back to the ring.) Morgoloth and Mo are in the ring with referee Jack Schlapp waiting on ALX and his partner. ALX comes out from the back alone and Morgoloth and Mo laugh. Then the music for his partner hits....it's "Weird" Al's "Amish Paradise!" Amish Robot comes out and he and ALX head to the ring. Morgoloth and Mo don't look to worried (Morgoloth doesn't anyway) and ALX starts the match for his team. Morgoloth and Mo make much more freaquent...tags than their opponents, and work over ALX hard. But ALX is able to finally make the tag to Amish Robot who comes in like a barn of fire! However the fire is quickly put out by a stiff clothesline and Morgoloth and Mo are able to get win with DOUBLE OR NOTHING UA: Morgoloth and Mo may be unstopable! Maybe they will go after the Tandem Titles?! A valiant effort by ALX adn Amish Robot. (Another spot for Grapplepalooza is shown, marking it as "the greatest wrestling show ever presented from the greatest wrestling mind ever born.") Millie Swimsuit is in the ring as the ref for the next bout, a rematch between Fifi Cheveux d'Aiselle and Eager Beaver. Fifi tries to start a shoving match with Beaver, but the little Indian girl is to much for the Frenchwoman. Beaver keeps up her attack, but something seems strange. She seems to look to much to the ref and holds onto moves longer than normal so Millie has to step in to break things up. All this distracting behavior by BEaver does end up getting her disqualified and Ms. Swimsuit gives the match to Ms. d'Aiselle. Fifi is a little dishevled, but none the less takes the ruling like the stuck-up priss she is. Eager Beaver looks madder at herself than anyone. UA: Eager Beaver certainly didn't seem to be on her best game tonight. She looked rather distracted. Wounder what that was about. Anyway, let's take a look backstage and see what's developing. (La Cucaracha Grande is sitting on a couch backstage watching a monitor when Pillchard walks up to him.) P: Hey roach-boy, you're in my seat. LCG: Get lost, dog breath. Go chew a milkbone. P: Oh now you stepped in it, pal! You and that other bug still the Tandem Champs? LCG: Yeah, what's your point? P: My point is that my partner and I think we should be the Tandem Champs! So we are challenging you guys to a match at Grapplepalooza! LCG: Is that so? Well I tell you what, tough guy, you beat me in a one on one match next week and you get your shot. P: Fine, you're on! See you next week, and I'll bring the RAIDtm. (Pillchard walks away.) LCG: And I'll bring the Kibbles and Bits! (Meanwhile Johnny Satan is talking with Suzzy Sucubus in the medics room when Busta Capp walks up, still bandaged from his match earlier, and gets in Satan's face.) BC: We gots a problem, yo. JS: Apparently we do. BC: I wants a rematch for my title. JS: Oh you do, do you? Well seeing as I just won this title I'm not inclined to agree to that. BC: I knew you was a punk.You shaken, know you can't throw down with a real thug. JS: I assure you I can. I am, how do you kids say it, the original gangster. BC: Well, step up then! Be a man! I'm callin' the devil out. JS: Very well, but if you want this we do it on my terms, on my "turf" as it where. BC: Whatever it takes. JS: Fine, meet me at Grapplepalooza in Hell.....in a Cell. (Busta looks a little taken back but nods and leaves) Oog and referee Blind Pew are in the ring as Salacious Rex is introduced. Rex and Oog start shouting at each otehr before Rex climbs into the ring, so when Oog turns his back Rex attacks! He stays on the attack, not letting Oog have any offence. But when he decides to use the DINO MUNCH even Blind Pew has the warewithal to call for the bell and disqualify Rex. Oog is declaired the winner and Salacious Rex looks really angry! UA: Well that didn't go the way Salacious Rex planed. Looks like his fight with Oog may not be over yet. But no time to slow down because it's time for our Main Event! Buddy Hotpants comes to the ring to a loud chorus of boos. He waits in the ring for Flex Manley, but instead the music for W3 Owner Phineus T. Phatback plays as he comes out to the ramp. PTP: Buddy, I just thought I would tell you now. I decided to make this match a little more interesting. Since last week was inside a cage, I thought tonight the title should be on the line...in a ladder match! Have fun. Buddy does not seem happy, but as Flex makes his way to the ring, Buddy jumps out and attacks him on the ramp! He slams the champ's head into the gaurd rail then throws him in the ring. Buddy stays on the offence, but Flex does make a comeback and is able to climb the ladder and reach the title belt. Buddy, however, recovers and knocks the ladder over, dropping Flex and the belt. Buddy is able to recover before Flex and gain possession of the belt, winning the match and the W3 Championship! UA: WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! Buddy Hotpants wins the title! What will this mean for next week? What will this mean for Grapplepalooza?! Tune in and find out!
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Post by Vidtek on Jul 16, 2008 13:21:16 GMT -5
Setting Orange, Chaos 65, YOLD 3177 W3 Card #5: Live from The Ar3na! (The following three matches where taped for the W3's online show.) Frankenpuss crushed a massively outmatched Manchovie with the FRANKENHAMMER. After the match the big cat golem tried to take a bite out of Manchovie, who thankfully was able to escape. Wacky Kabuki took down Shiitaki Jr. with FINAL PERFORMANCE. Mar Far Jinx beat his friend Undercover Alien Jr. in a playful match with his CHICKENWING D.D.T.. (The show's opening video and pyro go off followed by a recap of last week, including Buddy Hotpant's winning of the W3 championship. Buddy's music plays as he and Fifi come down to the ring amid falling balloons and confetti. The fans boo, but Buddy smiles and waves anyway. Phineus T. Phatback follows the pair, clapping. When they reach the ring ,Phatback takes out a mic.) PTP: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a NEW W3 Heavyweight champion! Give it up for Buddy Hotpants! (Buddy poses with the belt as the crowd boos and chants "You screwed Flex, you screwed Flex." To which Buddy replies, sans mic, "He's not really my type!") PTP: I have to admit Buddy, you had me worried for a while there, I didn't think you could pull it off. BH: Well, boss, you know it just goes to show you should always bet on a winning horse, and I have seen my share of studs in my time, but Flex Manley sure isn't one of them! PTP: Ain't that the truth. Well, Buddy, this night is for you, to celebrate your amazing victory. I'm giving you and Fifi the night off and full use of my personal executive suite! (Buddy looks like he's overwhelmed, Fifi just looks annoyed. The fans still boo.) Relax, enjoy, cause next week at the first ever GRAPPLEPALOOZA you have your first title defense. On which I will have more later. But for now, let's hear it again for YOUR W3 champ, Buddy Hotpants! (The fans let more boos fly as the trio leaves the ring and the ring crew come out to sweep the mat clean, Undercover Alien finally get to start the show.) UA: Well a lot of hoopla for Buddy Hotpants here tonight after his win last week. Not sure he deserves all that. Anyway, we have a great night of W3 action for you tonight fans, so now that the ring is clean let's get it! Yee-Haw! Amish Robot comes down to the ring with his usual no-nonsense style (as nonsense was not part of his programing). His opponent, Morgoloth and Mo, marches fiercely to the ring, climbs in and gets right in Amish Robot’s face. Blind Pew rings the bell and Morgoloth and Mo shoves Amish Robot halfway across the ring! The onslaught doesn’t stop until finally the metal Mennonite gets hit with DOUBLE OR NOTHING. UA: A good looking outing for Morgoloth and Mo. That guy…or guys…well he sure can bring the pain! And speaking of that, I am being told that our fearless owner has a few announcements to make. So let’s go backstage… (The scene cuts to the interior of Phatback’s office. He is sitting at his desk looking rather pleased with himself.) PTP: Hello again, W3 fans. I have a couple of announcements I would like to make. First off, to Flex Manley, I hope you are watching this because I just got off the phone and tonight you have a very special Mystery Opponent to face in tonight’s Main Event. Good luck preparing, you’re going to need it. Second, I have made an executive decision that at GRAPPLEPALOOZA there will be a ten man over-the-top-rope battle royal to determine who will face Buddy Hotpants in the Main Event that night for the W3 Heavyweight title. Who are these ten men you ask? Well I will announce their names at the upcoming GRAPPLEPALOOZA Press Confrence. Until then, just sit back an speculate. Thank you for watching W3 TV. (Suddenly, without warning Salacious Rex busts through Phatback’s office door! He looks enraged!) SR: PHATBACK! Why am I listed to face that “Missing IQ” Gomes Wannabe AGAIN?! PTP: Cause you where DQed again last week! Unless you can take Oog down clean I am not going to let this feud go! It’s making me money having you two prehistoric powerhouses duke it out, and I am not going to let it close on anything but a clean win, got it?! SR: So if I can beat that meat-cicle clean I never have to face him again, is that what you are saying to me? PTP: That’s exactly what I am saying to you. SR: You better keep your word after tonight, Phatback…or else… (On that rather ominous note Salacious Rex leaves, Phineus takes out a handkerchief and wipes his brow as the shot fades back to the ring for the next match!) W3 Ladies champ Mona Mammeries is strutting her stuff in the ring, much to the delight of the fans in attendance. Even Jack Schlepp seems to be enjoying her showing off the title belt to the adoring crowd. However, Wild Thang sneaks up from behind and nails Mona in the back of the head with a chair! Schlepp quickly calls for the opening bell, but Wild Thang has already tossed Mona outside the ring and is continuing her assault with the chair. Jack has no choice to call for the bell and disqualify Wild Thang. Security comes and pulls her off the champ, but to add insult to injury Fifi comes down to the ring with a mic. FCdA: Je veux une allumette de championnat contre vous, vous putain avec de grands seins! Et je le veux chez Grapplepalooza! (Mona looks confused, holding her head in pain.) FCdA: OK zen, I shall zpeak English! I vant a title shot, and at Grapplepalooza! MM: (Grabbing Fifi’s mic) You want a title, shot?! Bitch…you got it! (The fans cheer, Fifi looks pleased.) But on one condition…I want this to be a Title….versus HAIR match! (The fans roar approval!) FCdA: Ce qui? Vat do you mean, I vould never allow you to shave my ‘ead! MM: Not your head, French toast. The only way you get your title match is if you agree. You win, you become the Ladies champ. I win, you shave…..your pits! (The fans cheer and start to chant “Shave your pits! Shave your pits!” Fifi looks shocked and very disturbed. FCdA: Vous ne pouvez pas me demander de faire cela! Il n'y a rien mal avec mes cheveux d'aisselle! Les hommes vrais, hommes français, ne s'occupent pas de telles choses. C'est un outrage! Comment le défi vous m'insultent d'une telle façon?! However, if zat iz ze vay you vant it, zen zat iz vat you shall ‘ave! Bring your best, because at Grapplepalooza je vais vous battre dans pouce de votre vie pathétique, chienne sourde-muette. (Fifi turns and leaves in sort of a huff. Mona, still holding her head, makes her way to the back as well.) UA: Holy Shoot! That is going to be a knock-down drag-out between those two! And what a stipulation! Boy howdy can this night get any better?! Millie Swimsuit is the assigned official for the next match. Salacious Rex is coming to the ring looking very upset when Oog blindsides him from behind and whips him into the steel guardrail! Millie rings the bell, but Oog doesn’t bother tossing Rex into the ring, he just takes him over to the announce table tries to bash Rex’s head into it. Salacious blocks it though and rams Oog’s head into the table instead! He tosses Oog into the ring and goes straight for the DINO MUNCH! Millie looks like she might let it slide, but her judgment gets the better of her and she calls for the bell, awarding the match to Oog on a disqualification. Rex is obviously upset, scaring Millie out of the ring and roaring his disapproval as he leaves the ring, with Oog crawling to the back after him. UA: Uh-oh, looks like this fight between Salacious Rex and Oog isn’t quite over! I don’t think Rex is very happy. Now let’s go see what Flex Manley is up to getting ready for his Main Event mystery partner. (Backstage Flex is doing squats as Mona comes in, still holding her head.) FM: Hey, baby, can you be a doll and get me an energy soda? Thanks. (Flex goes back to counting his squats) MM: (Quietly) I’m fine, thanks for asking. (She goes over to the small fridge, takes out an energy soda and gives it to Flex with a forced smile.) FM: You’re the best babe. Hey, do you think I have time to bust out some killer pec-reps before my match?! (He doesn’t let Mona answer) Sure I do, here, let’s max it out, baby! (Flex lays on the bench with his hands ready. Mona rolls her eyes and lays down across Flex and he starts to bench press her. The shot goes back to the ring.) Pillchard is already in the ring with Jack Schlepp when La Cucaracha Grande Storms into the ring, but Pillchard meets him with a hard right hand! The two fist fight as the bell rings and Pillchard gains the upper hand. He whips Grande into the turnbuckle, but the roach raises his boot as the pug charges in. Pillchard is never able to shake the webs back out, and La Cucaracha Grande is able to get the win with the CUCARACHA PLANCHA. UA: Not Pillchard’s best night ever. I wonder if this will affect the Dog Pound’s bid for a Tandem Title match? Flex Manley comes out alone to a lukewarm reception, but he looks psyched up. Plind Pew is already in the ring when Phineus T. Phatback comes out with a mic. PTP: Well, Flex, looks like you are all ready for your match. That’s a good thing, because I just hired the most muscular wrestler to ever be on the W3 roster! Get ready to have your cheeks pinched off by the one, the only….GAMMA GRANNY! Gamma Granny comes out and the fans boo loudly! She does a Hulk Hogan-esc posedown before charging down to the ring. Flex’s eyes are wide as Granny steps right up to him. FM: G…granma?! GG: That’s right, sonny, it’s your dear sweet Grandmother. Your mother used to bring you around to my house when you where just a skinny little boy. But now look at you, all grown up….well I’m going to knock your block off! You never liked my pies! GRANNY SMASH!! Gamma Granny nails Flex with a clubbing forearm as the match gets underway! Granny brutalizes poor Flex who looks reluctant to even fight back. Phatback is at ringside cheering with glee at each painful maneuver Granny executes on Flex. He joy turns to sorrow though as Granny misses a deathjump when Flex rolls out of the way just in time. Flex then executes the Flex Plex and is able to pin the rattled geriatric giant! UA: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! Flex beat Gamma Granny! But who is this woman? Is she really Flex Manley’s maternal grandmother? And how did she get so pumped up? I’m sure these questions will be answered soon, for now take care fans and we will see you next week for GRAPPLEPALOOZA! This is Undercover Alien saying goodnight from the A3rena and the W3!
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Post by Werner Mueck on Jul 17, 2008 12:44:03 GMT -5
A lot of good stuff here. I've got my finger's crossed for the Dog Pound and I hope Gamma Granny kicks Flex's ass!
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Post by neily on Jul 18, 2008 15:43:48 GMT -5
Dang i need to do a W3 card myself. good job Vid-tek.
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Post by Vidtek on Jul 23, 2008 14:31:18 GMT -5
Setting Orange, Chaos 70, YOLD 3177 W3 Card #6: W3 Presents [glow=Yellow,2,300]GRAPPLEPALOOZA! [/glow] Live from the W3 Arena! (The show opens with a huge pyro display as the fans go wild for the W3's first major PPV event! Everything has been decked out in GRAPPLEPALOOZA banners and every fan at ringside is wearing a GRAPPLEPALOOZA T-shirt! Undercover Alien even has a GRAPPLEPALOOZA sticker on his trademark black hat.) UA: WELCOME FANS to what will no doubt be a history making night of W3 action! This is GRAPPLEPALOOZA! And tonight we have an extrodinary amount of fighting coming at you, so let's not sit here with our toungs waging, let's get to it! Each of the ten participants in the Battle Royal make their way to the ring. Abraham Lincoln X, Monkey Chan, Wacky Kabuki, Octopuss Johnson, Thundermug, Sturgis Khan, Shicklegruber, Frankenpuss, Flex Manley and Gamma Granny all look to be pumped up for action. This is the W3 debut for Sturgis Khan, Octopuss Johnson, Thundermug and Shicklegruber. THe bell rings and the fight is on! With all the intense fighting involved, it would be hard to recap it all, so here is the list of eliminations. Monkey Chan by Schiclegruber Wacky Kabuki by Thundermug Octopuss Johnson by Shicklegruber Sturgis Khan by Shicklegruber Shicklegruber by Gamma Granny Frankenpuss by Gamma Granny Thundermug by Gamma Granny Flex Manley by Gamma Granny Gamma Granny by ALX! After tossing the super sized senior citizen from the ring the fans go WILD! ALX wins the battle royal! UA: OH MA GAWD! Abe Lincoln X Just came up and won this battle royal! He's going on to the main event tonight to face Buddy Hotpants for the W3 Heavyweight title! (Backstage La Cucaracha Grande and Dung Beetle Bailey are playing Uno when Pillchard walks up to them.) LCG: Hey, mutt! How'd you like losin' last week and now not getting your title shot, huh?! P: Oh now you stepped in it! You see I went to Mr. Phatback and talked to him, and since there doesn't seem to be another team in the W3 that deserves a title shot on his greatest show ever...he gave me and my partner the shot tonight anyway! DBB: What?! Why that phat bastard! P: Calm down, big guy, you're going to need that energy later! My partner and I are going to beat the crap out of the crapivores! Oh, and get a Tic-Tac or something, your breath smells like shit! (Pillchard walks away as the bugs sit and fume) Back in the ring Jack Schlapp is trying very hard to ignore Mar Far Jinx who wants to tell him all about his'a day. Suddenly sirens and claxons go off as red lights strobe all around the Ar3na! Out from the back comes another newcomer, Moondog Blortinflax, interspacial bounty hunter (known by most of the crowd due to his hugely popular C&P TV show "Moondog: The Bounty Hunter".). Moondog enters the ring and gabs a mic. MB: I'm here looking for a fugitive from interspacial justice! You, Mar Far Jinx of the planet Mar Far, are going to tell me where I can find him! MFJ: Me'sa no is knowin' what it is you'sa are sayin'. Me'sa don' know any fugitives! MB: Well then, I'm just going to have to beat the information out of you...Martian Style! Moondog hammers Mar Far with a forearm shot and doesn't let up after that! He keeps applying the Martian Manlock and telling Mar Far to talk, but all Jinx does is scream. Finally satisfied that the dunderhead doesn't know anything, Blortinflax ends the match with COLLECT THE BOUNTY UA: Well that was a spittlebuster! I gotta wonder who it is Moondog is looking for. Obviously wasn't Mar Far Jinx. I guess we'll all find out sooner or later. (The shot cuts back to the enterior of a locker room. Someone (obviously a female by the humming) is taking a shower in another room when the door opens and a cloaked figure enters the room. The camera can't see who it is but the figure walks over and leaves a small black box on the vanity in the room. It then makes as if to go into the shower room, but when the water is turned off it hurredly leaves the room. Coming around the corner from the shower room, barely wearing a towel and drying her hair with another one is Mona Mammeries! The fans cheer LOUD as she sits at the vanity and see the small box. She opens it and finds a small note. She reads it.) MM: To Mona, from your secret love...huh. (She looks at what is in the box and pulls out a diamond necklace! She oogles it as the camera fades back to the ring.) Two teams make their W3 debuts next as the newly arrived team of Ace Gazpatcho and Kippers Vindaloo, calling themselves Crimson Midgit after the ship they used to serve on, face off against Sturgis Khan's fellow riders in Mongol Bob and Kublai Keith, collectively called Hell's Mongols. They attack the spacemen from behind and toss Kippers out of the ring. It looks to be a savage beatdown as the mongols take poor Ace and utterly destroy him. Jack Schlapp has no choice but to DQ the bikers from Outer Mongolia and gives the match to Ace and Kippers. UA: Well, not the best showing but still a win for the newest team in the W3. Hell's Mongols really looked like they had them there. Maybe they will have better luck next time. If they can keep from losing their cool. (In Phineus T. Phatback's office, Phatback is gleefully counting the gate revinue for tonight when Salacious Rex busts in the newly repaired door.) SR: PHATMAN! Now you got me facing that barely thawed meatcicle in a CAGE MATCH tonight?! I am sick of facing that greasy haired protosimian! PTP: And I keep telling you that I won't let this go until you can beet Oog clean! That's why I made tonight a cage match. Use that Munchy-Crunchy move or whatever you call it all you want, you can't be disqualified! How does that make you feel? SR: You mean I can't get DQed for using DINO MUNCH? PTP: You couldn't be DQed if you hit him with the international space station. SR: (Looking a little happier now) Alright then. But after this, I am done with Oog, got it?! PTP: If you win. SR: Don't give me an IF, Phatback. I will win. (Rex leaves as Phatback picks up the phone.) PTP: Yes, can I get someone up here to fix a dinosaur sized hole in my door.....yes another one... The Ladies Title match is up next. In the ring Fifi Cheveux d'Aissele is being checked for foreign objects by referee Blind Pew and does not look to pleased with it as Pew tries to check a very sensative area! Mona Mammeries comes out to a huge pop, wearing the necklace that she was left earlier. She takes it off before the match starts and Fifi gets in her face right as she gets in the ring. The two are shouting at each other and Fifi tries to shove Mona. Unfortunatly all she gets is a handfull of Mona's....mammeries, and Mona is able to shove Fifi halfway across the ring. Mona has the advantage for most of the match, but the tables turn when Fifi moves out of the way of a turnbuckle charge and rolls Mona up. She doesn't get the pin, but quickly follows up with FLEUR-DE-L'AISSELLE, winning the match and the Ladies title! Not to mention not having to shave! The fans are booing UA: Well it doesn't look like Fifi is going to be joining the ranks of regualr western women anytime soon! We have a new Ladies champ, folks! But my question here is...who gave Mona that necklace? (In the back Johnny Satan and Suzy Succubus walk up to Busta Capp as he is trying to play the arcade machine version of GTA:Cleveland.) BC: Man, what you steppin in my bidness?! JS: I was just hoping you where in the corect mindset for our match tonight. It's not everyday someone gets a personal tour of Hell from the devil himself. BC: I don't give a shit if you is the devil, I'm going to kick your red ass! JS: We shall see, won't we. (Satan and Suzy walk off laughing. Busta is steaming.) In a grudge match Amish Robot squared off against Hardcorpse. When Hardcorpse got to the ring and tried to shove the robot, the fan s all laughed at him. Going crazy at the sounds of their laughter, Hardcorpse ducked Amish Robot's hammer blow with his own Orange Crush followed by the UNDEAD DRIVER. Referee Millie Swimsuit is right there to count the three and give the win to the undead geek. UA: Well I guess it's best not to laugh at a hardcore zombie nerd. A quick win for Hardcorpse tonight. Let's hope his boss, Ol' Scratch himself has the same luck up next! (Before the next match we see Buddy Hotpants reading a book while Fifi sits beside him pollishing her new title belt. Phatback walks up.) PTP: What are you doing? You have a match tonight! BH: I know boss, that's why I'm reading this. It's called The Missing Lincoln, it tells all about how he was a closet crossdresser and may have even slept with members of his cabnet. Wild huh?! PTP: (Slaps the book from Buddy's hand) No! Not wild! I'm telling you right now, Buddy, if you lose that title tonight after all I went through to put it on you, I swear you will never wrestle in the W3 again! GOT IT?! (Phatback storms off. Buddy looks dumbfounded.) FCdA: Je pense vraiment que l'homme est un abruti. BH: Sometimes I think you're right. FCdA: Cette ceinture de championnat fait-elle mon âne regarder aussi gros que le sien? BH: Like I would ever look at either, sister. Blind Pew doesn't notice it, but the cage for the Hell in a Cell match has been lowered around the ring. Busta Capp comes out to a mixed reaction but seems focused, even as Pat Boone's version of "Crazy Train" plays over the speakers and Jagged Edge champ Johnny Satan makes his way to the ring. Once there the bell rings and the fight is on! It is a total knockdown dragout that sees both men come dangerously close to being thrown off the top of the steel structure! However it is in the center of the ring that Satan hits his BEALZE-BOMB and puts down the Criptown brawler. UA: WHAT A BRAWL! Another spittlebuster! I thought for sure one of them was going to end up splattered all over this arena floor! But once again you have to give the devil his due as Satan walks away the Jagged Edge champ. (While the cage is being lifted we go backstage again. Flex is sulking after losing in the battle royal.) FM: I can't believe my sweet Granny Fopp is doing this to me. MM: (Not really paying attention, looking at her necklace) That's nice. FM: I mean she's right, I never really cared for her pies, but they where just so full of sugar and carbs and.....what is that? (pointing to the necklace.) MM: This? It's the necklace you left for me in the locker room silly. (She goes to give him a kiss on the cheek but he moves.) FM: I didn't leave you that. Someone else was in your locker room while you where in the shower?! Someone else is leaving you gifts?! Who is it Mona?! I'll break their scrawny neck! MM: I don't know Flex, now calm down! FM: I am going to get to the bottom of this. (Flex gets up and leaves with a very frustrated Mona on his heals. Behind them, a cloaked figure peers from around the corner.) Yet another grudge match follows as Inbred Red takes on his nemesis Koala Bruce. He comes down to the ring and starts shouting at the lovible Aussie, but when Bruce turns around to give the ring attendent the Aye-Aye he'd brought to the ring with him, Red jumps him from behind! Bruce can't regain his composure and Inbred Red is able to get the win, despite his drooling over Millie Swimsuit, with BIG BAHR HUG. UA: Whoo-boy do those two hate each other. I wonder what ol' Red would do if someone told him that Bruce really isn't a bear? Ah well. While they set up the cage for the next match, let's go backstage. (Abe Lincoln X is being congradulated by everyone he passes by as he walks with a purpose toward the locker room of Dr. Mutato and his creations. When he gets there he kicks the door in and snatches Mutato up off his chair by the lapels) ALX: What was that abomination that you have wrought upon this federation? DrM: What are you talking about? ALX: What was that freak of nature you entered into the battle royal?! Dr.M: You mean Frankenpuss? ALX: No! I mean the other man! Dr.M: Oh, you must mean Schicklegruber...I just put Adolf Hitler's head on the body of a genetic freak and pumped it full of hormones, what's so wrong with that? ALX: I will see to it that this man never again rears it's ugly head in this federation again! Whatchagonnado?! (ALX drops Dr. Mutato and leaves the room. Mutato just sits there stunned.) The cage is set and so are the wrestlers as Oog and Salacious Rex go at it for (what Rex hopes anyway) may be the last time! Oog keeps his gaurd up and both men hammer each other mercilessly. However, once Rex sinks in his DINO MUNCH and poor Jack Schlapp can't stop him, it's all over. Oog finally passes out from the pain and Rex simply walks out the cage door for the win! UA: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! Salacious Rex beat Oog fair and square in the middle of the ring! I guess this means Oog is going to have to move on to other pastures. I know Rex is looking forward to that. (A recap of the night's events so far is played, followed by a new video, this time for the next W3 PPV...coming soon.......Spotfest.......) Despite being the champs, the Crapivores enter the ring first for their Tandem Title match against Pillchard and Boston Terror. The Dog Pound is ready though and they sneak up from the crowd, enter the ring and bash the bugs over the head with steel chairs! Then the two canines nail La Cucaracha Grande with theDOUBLE DOG PILE and Millie Swimsuit counts the three. The Dog Pound wins the W3 Tandem Title straps! UA: WOW! That was a fast win for the Dog Pound, your new Tandem champs! I bet they had that planed the whole time! And I bet Cucaracha and Bailey will have some killer headaches later. The ring clears quickly for the Main Event. Abe Lincoln X comes out first to a rouising number of cheers and chants of "USA! USA!". He still looks upset over his confrontation with Dr. Mutato. Buddy Hotpants is out next but Abe can't wait. He meets Buddy halfway down the ramp and the two start brawling! Abe wins and tosses Buddy into the ring. Hotpants tries to beg off, but finds no mercy today from the old railsplitter! After hitting The Gettysburg Abstretch and the Civil War Slam, Abe finishes Hotpants off in true American fashion with EMANCIPATION DEVASTATION! The fans go wild as Blind Pew counts the three and we have a NEW W3 HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! UA: NEW CHAMP! NEW CHAMP! NEW CHAMP! Abraham Lincoln X wins the Heavyweight title! Buddy Hotpants isn't going to be happy when he wakes up! What did Phineus mean when he said Buddy would never wrestle in the W3 again if he lost this match?! Find out next week! For all of us here at the W3 Arena we thank you for watching GRAPPLEPALOOZA! Goodnight everyone! (The show fades out on a shot of the victorious Great Emancipator holding the tile belt high!)
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Post by Vidtek on Mar 18, 2009 17:39:33 GMT -5
Setting Orange, Discord 2, YOLD 3177 W3 Card #7: Live from The Ar3na! (The following three matches where taped for the W3's online show) Dragula defeated Big Blossom with THE TRANSYLVANIA TWIST Hell's Mongols beat Crimson Midget via the DOUBLE MONGOLIAN SPIKE Hardcorpse takes down "Severe" Wu Ping in a Texas Death Match following a top rope splash (The intro vid is shown, as is a recap from GRAPLEPALOOZA featuring the W3 title win by ALX. Undercover Alien is at ringside about to start the show when the music for W3 owner Phineus T. Phatback plays and he comes out on the stage to a rousing chorus of boos from the crowd.) PTP: Well I hoped everyone liked GRAPLEPALOOZA as much as I enjoyed selling it...I mean bringing it to you. But I do have one peice of business to take care of before we start tonight off. Buddy Hotpants, would you join me out here please. (The fans still boo as Buddy's music plays and he comes out to join his boss) BH: You wanted to see me? PTP: Yes I did. Remember last week when I said that if you lost the W3 Heavyweight title that you would never wrestle in the W3 again? BH: (looking stunned) Well, yes, but boss... PTP: NO BUTS BUDDY! As of this moment...you...are...reassigned. (Buddy and the crowd look confused) BH: Reassigned? To what? PTP: Buddy, you are our new color commentator! UA: WHAT?! (Buddy lopks speechless, but Phatback points to a chair next to Undercover Alien at the announce table.) PTP: Be glad you still have a job Buddy. Have fun. (With that Phatback leaves as Buddy reluctantly takes up the chair and headset next to UA.) BH: I can't beleive this! Color commentary! How humiliating. UA: How do you think I feel? I thought I was doing a great job by myself. BH: Woah their, Mr. Mustache, let's not get to full of ourselves. I might just be able to improve this show. UA: Well we'll see about that, Now let's start this show off... Before he can even finish his sentence, Manchovie comes flying out from the back, litterally! As he lands with a thud, out steps Gamma Granny! The pie making powerhouse lets out a mighty bellow and kicks Manchovie in the gut, sending him rolling down the ramp. The fish-man tries to crawl under the ring, but Granny grabs him and tosses him into it instead, where she brutally pulzerizes her helpless victem before giving him the Alabama Slam, at which point security finally comes out and manages to hold Granny at bay long enough to drag Manchovie to safety. UA: Well something got up her knickers, that's for sure. BH: I'm sure eleminating most of the competition in last weeks battle royal only to get tossed by a cloned president didn't sit to well with dear old Ms. Fopp. UA: I think you may be right on that one Buddy. (We cut to a scene backstage inside Mona and Flex's locker room. Mona is doing some preening when there is a knock on the door.) MM: Who is it? (There is no answer, but another knock) MM: Just a second. (Mona puts down her make-up and goes and answers the door. When she opens it, no one is there. She looks up and down the hall, shrugs, and is about to close the door when she notices a note taped to it. It has her name on it. She takes it down and reads it.) MM: Dearest Mona, my heart aches for you. Someday I may be able to show you who I am, but for now I must long for you from afar. Please take this gift and know that you are always with me. Your secret love. Huh, well isn't that sweet. (Taped to the bottom of the note is a day pass to a local spa. Mona holds it and is admiring the thought when Flex walks in.) FM: What you got there, babe? (He takes the pass from Mona, reads it and smiles) Hey, this is great! Just the thing I need to get my mind back on the ring and off Granny Foop! (He leans down, kisses Mona on the cheek and leaves, saying over his shoulder) You're the best, babe! (Mona starts to protest, but Flex is already gone. Mona pouts.) Back in the ring Kween Squatifah Cookiepuss is being held in check by referee Jack Schlapp as she is yelling at ringside fans. The fans cheer when her opponent, Eager Beaver is announced! Once Beaver is in the ring, the Kween gets right in her face and shoves her hard to the mat! Eager's head hits hard and she can't seem to regain her bearings. Kween Squatifah gets the win with her COOKIE DUSTER. BH: Well that's one queen you won't see me getting close to. Ouch. UA: Yes Miss Squatifah was definatly in a bad move tonight. BH: Maybe they ran out of fired chicked and waffles at the craft services table. UA: BUDDY! (Backstage, looking rather pleased with himself and picking at his teeth is Salacious Rex. Oog comes up to him, a very angry look on his face.) SR: What do you want now, you knuckleheaded Neanderthal? Phatback said if I beat you clean then I can be done with you. I did, and I am. Now go away. (Salacious makes a move to go, but Oog steps in front of him.) O: Oog isn’t done with you, lizard man! Oog wants….no, Oog DEMANDS one more match with you. Next week. SR: And why should I agree to that? O: Because Oog has an idea. Oog thinks that this fed isn’t big enough for lizard man and Oog. So, if you fight Oog one more time, loser leaves town for a year! (The fans cheer in the background as Rex thinks it over.) O: And to make it better, the match will be Falls Count ANYwhere. SR: Well I was on the fence, but now you sold me. A falls count anywhere match with you, loser leaves town for a year, how can I pass that up? Alright, you’re on. See you next week, furball. (Rex walks passed a now smiling Oog.) In the ring Monkey Chan cavorts with his “brother” Eep-Eep. Eep-Eep doesn’t look happy until Pat Boone’s “Down With the Sickness” plays and Jagged Edge champ Johnny Satan makes his way to the ring. Eep-Eep pushes Monkey Chan through the ropes and onto Satan! Satan and Chan start brawling, but somehow the monkey man gets the upper hand. He tosses Johnny into the ring, where his luck quickly runs out. After a failed deathjump, Johnny is able to execute the VILE DRIVER and ref Millie Swimsuit counts the three. UA: That Johnny Satan is on a roll. Somebody up there must like him. BH: Um, Undercover, I don’t think anyone “up there” likes him at all. UA: What makes you say that? BH: Just a hunch. Caressing Satan as he passes by her, Suzy Succubus and her partner Wild Thang head out for some women’s tandem action. But from behind they are nailed by their opponents Tufted Titmouse and Cap’n Bootilicious! The heroic ladies toss the demonic duo into the ring and continue their assault. Things calm down some until Suzy Succubus tosses Tufted Titmouse out of the ring, where she hears Buddy Hotpants say BH: I can’t honestly believe Suzy goes out in public in that outfit. The Betty Page look is cute, but not for her. Suzy is livid! She starts yelling at Buddy SS: What would you know about fashion? It’s a good thing Phatback demoted you or else my boyfriend would kick your ass! BH: Yeah right, I know your “boyfriend’s” reputation and believe me kicking would be the last thing he would do to my ass. This just serves to piss Suzy off even more! She goes to slap Buddy but he blocks it and gouges her in the eye! He then rolls her back into the ring where she stumbles right into Tufted Titmouse’s BIRD’S EYE VEIW. Blind Pew counts the three, giving Titti and Booti the win! Tufted tries to take her top off in celebration, but Bootilicious stops her. The male fans seem upset about that. UA: I can’t believe you just did that! BH: She started it, little tramp. Just because her man has orientation issues doesn’t mean she has to take it out on me. UA: Still I would watch what you say about him, he’s a pretty freaky dude. BH: Hey, sometimes a little kink is just right… UA: You tryin’ to make me blush? BH: Can you blush? (Unannounced, W3 Heavyweight Champ Abe Lincoln X comes out and the crowd cheers! He makes his way to the ring and dose a quick pose-down before he grabs a mic.) ALX: No score and seven days ago, I set forth on a path to greatness. To achive the highest of goals presented to a competator in this federation, the W3 Heavyweight title. And while I may have successfully completed my path, along the way I was confronted by something most vile and despicable. A stain upon the very essence of this company. I speak of none other than the abomination known as Shicklegruber. (The fans boo.) I demand that I be given a match with him…RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, BROTHER! (The fans cheer, but instead of Shicklegruber out walk Phineus T. Phatback and Dr. Mutato.) PTP: Unfortunatly, due to some unforeseen problems Shicklegruber could not be here tonight. (Fans boo more. Abe looks upset.) However, Abe, because I am a nice guy I am going to give my new champ the next best thing. Tonight, right now in fact, you may face…..FRANKENPUSS! (Frankenpuss has climbed into the ring behind ALX while the Great Emancipator wasn’t looking and crushes Abe in the skull with a steel chair.) PTP: Oh, one last thing….this match….is NO Disqualifications. Frankenpuss pickes up the unconscious Kentuckian and tosses him with an inverted release giant swing. UA: A devastating maneuver! He flung ol’ Honest Abe like a rag doll. BH: But why is he doing this? I mean don’t get me wrong I love to see the guy that put me next to you getting beaten like this, but Great Big Green there should just go ahead and put him away. UA: On that point I will agree with you. As if hearing Buddy and Undercover talking about him, Frankenpuss walks over to the still prone ALX, picks him up and delivers the FRANKENHAMMER. Placing only his foot on the chest of the fallen champ, Frankenpuss gets the three count from Jack Schlapp and the win. BH: Well I don’t know about you, but that assault just looked brutal to me. UA: You can say that again. Maybe the old railsplitter needs to rethink his strategy. BH: I should say so, or else he won’t stay champ for much longer. UA: So how did you like your first night in the booth Buddy? BH: You know, I could get used to this. Maybe I could put in to get my own interview segment. UA: Don’t push it. For Buddy Hotpants, I’m Undercover Alien saying goodnight from The Ar3na!
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Post by Vidtek on Apr 18, 2011 1:10:02 GMT -5
Is there room on this board for TWO W3 feds?! Let's find out. Thankfully with a little editing magic (changing the year) I make this fed current! Six weeks of results coming your way fast to catch me up to date. They will get the quick results treatment. But don't worry, I had them all rolled up already. Card#8 Setting Orange, Discord 7, YOLD 3177 Live from The Ar3na! Dark Matches Octopus Johnson over "Severe" Wu Ping. Thundermug over Manchovie. Cap'n Bootyicious over Kween Squatifah. Broadcast Matches Flex Manley over Morgoloth & Mo. Before the match, someone sent a singing telegram to Mona. Marcus Membrane over Shiitaki, Jr. Circus Maximus over Dog Pound. Oog over Salacious Rex in a Falls Count Anywhere Looser Leaves Town for One Year match. (Rex was NOT happy) Schicklegruber over Abraham Lincoln X. After the match Frankenpuss and Octopus Johnson came out to help beat down ALX. They left him lying in the middle of the ring after a brutal beat-down, Dr. Mutato laughing the whole time!
Card #9 Setting Orange, Discord 12, YOLD 3177 Live from The Ar3na Dark Matches Undercover Alien, Jr. over Dickie Cravatte Morgoloth & Mo over the Half-Men (Manchovie and Johnny Gizmo) Marcus Membrane over Biclops Broadcast Matches Phinneus T. Phatback announces that ALX is out of action for at least 8 cards, and he was thus stripped of the W3 Championship. He announces that there will be a tournament held at SPOTFEST! and qualifying matches start tonight! Sturgis Khan over Busta Capp in a Tourny Qualifying match. Mona Mammeries over Cap'n Bootylicious. After the match, Mona found notes for reservations for two at a fancy local resturant. Flex thinks she got it for them and they leave for a "date." Circus Maximus over Crapivores Amish Robot over Frankenpuss. Robot was as angry as a robot could be that Dr. Mutato's men took out his friend and mentor ALX. Gamma Granny over Monkey Chan in a Tourny Qualifying match.
Card #10 Setting Orange, Discord 17, YOLD 3177 Live from The Ar3na Dark Matches Wild Thang over Rhinestone Cowgirl. Inbred Red over Fighting Mad Hippie. Octopus Johnson over Chalupacabra. Broadcast Matches Thundermug over Wacky Kabuki in a Tourny Qualifying match. Hardcorpse over Mar Far Jinx. Hell's Mongols over Crapivores. Mona finds a lovely rose and box of candy in her dressing room. Flex comes in before she eats any, shames her because they are unhealthy and trashes the box. Suzy Succubus over Mona Mammeries. Mona looked really distraught and off her game. Schicklegruber over Amish Robot in a Tourny Qualifying match.
Card #11 Setting Orange, Discord 22, YOLD 3177 Live from The Ar3na Dark Matches] La Cucaracha Grande over Cosmic Ray Kowala Bruce over Johnny Gizmo Pillchard over Busta Capp Broadcast Matches Oog over Inbred Red in a Tourny Qualifying match. Suzy Succubus over Tufted Titmouse. Mona finds a note saying that her "secret admirer" is sick of seeing the way Flex treats her and they are going to do something about it. She trashes it before Flex reads it. Hell's Mongols over Circus Maximus. Johnny Satan over Shiitaki, Jr. Flex Manley over Morgoloth & Mo in a Tourny Qualifying match. Phineus T. Phatback isn't happy about that.
Card #12 Setting Orange, Discord 27, YOLD 3177 Live from The Ar3na Dark Matches Marcus Membrane over Mar Far Jinx. Amish Robot over Biclops. Suzy Succubus over Wild Thang. Broadcast Matches Octopus Johnson over Fighting Mad Hippie in a Tourny Qualifying match. Frankenpuss over Monkey Chan. Crapivores over Future Echoes (Renamed Crimson Midgit). Hardcorpse over Chalupacabra. Antoine Le Bastard over Moondog Blortinflax in a Tourny Qualifying match.
Card # 13: SPOTFEST! Setting Orange, Discord 32, YOLD 3177 Live from The Ar3na Title Tourny First Round: Gamma Granny over Antoine Le Bastard. Title Tourny First Round: Sturgis Khan over Oog. Title Tourny First Round: Octopus Johnson over Thundermug. Title Tourny First Round: Flex Manley over Schickelgruber. Ladies Title Match: Suzy Succubus over Fifi Cheveux d'Aisselle. Suzy is the new Ladies Champ! Title Tourny Semi-Finals: Gamma Granny over Sturgis Khan. Title Tourny Semi-Finals: Flex Manley over Octopus Johnson. Tandem Title Match: Hell's Mongols over Dog Pound. Hell's Mongols are the new Tandem Champs! Mona finds another rose and note, this time saying that tonight her "secret admirer" will finally take care of Flex so that they can have Mona all to themselves. Title Tourny Finals Match: Flex Manley over Gamma Granny! Flex Manley is the new W3 Champion! After the match the lights flicker then go out. When they come back up Flex Manley is gone and all that is left in the ring is a single rose and a stunned Mona Mammeries!
What happens next?! Find out this Setting Orange when Vidtek's W3 makes it's full fledged return to the Greatest Board in the Galaxy!
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