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GFITG
Feb 18, 2008 16:37:56 GMT -5
Post by TheOtherTrav on Feb 18, 2008 16:37:56 GMT -5
Live! From the brand new GREATEST ARENA IN THE GALAXY, Detroit Earth!
Featuring...
MAIN ATTRACTION!
GWFZ CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND ROBIN TOURNAMENT!
Umagapotamus (c) vs. Ensor
Ensor vs. Strong
Strong vs. Umagapotamus (c)
Plus...
*GWFZ OZONE TITLE/COSMIC CAGE MATCH*
Harm (c) vs. Xiongmao *GWFZ TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH/EARTH LADDER MATCH*
Overtime and Pride (c) vs. Claws and Knives
also...
*ULTIMATE AETHRAN ESCAPE MATCH*
Rush, Sledgend and Duplos vs. The Headliners and Moral Majority
*CENTRA COFFIN MATCH*
The Legacy vs. Tournament Master
*DEBUT MATCH*
Saint Bernard vs. Morbid
Symbiote vs. Plethador
Ares vs. Motor Psycho
Irish Heat vs. Hegemony
Cuddley Claw vs. Leviathan
This card will be brought to you exclusively from TGBITG... Looking forward to seeing the results. ~Trav |
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GFITG
Feb 18, 2008 22:48:14 GMT -5
Post by Swarm on Feb 18, 2008 22:48:14 GMT -5
card # 1186/2122
Live From Champions Hall Ceres
The GWFZ presents...
GWFZ O ZONE!
Hosted by Mot, Kram and Johnny Rocket...
*Red, White, Blue and Gold fireworks open the show as Varsity makes his full time debut in the GWFZ! Varsity makes quick work of Irish Heat with PCD then HALO for the win!
Varsity stands on the top turnbuckle and makes a big V with his arms as the crowd chants "You suck!" along with his music...
*Plethador is standing outside of Champions Hall in the landing bay watching the stars and drinking some water when up pulls...
Swarm! Swarm pulls his 2122 Black on Black on Black tinted out Hummer recently pimped out with fresh new winter meats up to the landing bay as the fans go crazy!
The door to the Hummer opens and out steps Swarm...
Plethador: Hey bro!
Swarm: What's up bro. I've got some big news tonight.
Plethador: Kick Ass bro! What is it...?
Swarm: TGFITG needs a new place to host next weeks big PPV big FUCKING card 33!
Plethador: New...?
Swarm: That's right. I have a feeling Massif is about to pull the lease out from under us over at the old arena so I might have to tell him to fuck off first...
So tonight I've got a couple of meetings...one with Massif and another with a couple official GWF promoters we may be able to book something with...I'll keep you posted.
Plethador: Cool bro sounds good. Let me know!
Swarm and Plethabro bump fists as Swarm enters the arena...
As he does, a small ship in the shape of a dog bone lands in the front bay right in front of Plethador...
The ship lands...a door opens and out steps...
Saint Bernard!
Plethador: What the Hell...?
Saint Bernard: Watch thy tongue jobber, I am here to save you.
Plethador: From what? Watch my tongue? Hey buddy this show is to promote big FUCKING card! If you came here for Bible lessons you came to the wrong...
Bernard boots Plethador right in the face! Pleths water bottle goes flying as he hits the ground hard!
Saint Bernard: I said - watch thy tongue - jobber. You like water do you...? I have decided to move my debut in the GWFZ up to this week, vs. you, in that ring...now...
Bernard blesses the fallen body of Plethador and heads to the ring...
*Saint Bernard makes good on his word, surviving SUCTION CLAW and putting Plethador down with CLOTHESLINE FROM DOGGY HEAVEN!
After the match Bernard drags Plethador into the corner for Hardcore Baptism! Bernard dunks Plethador's head into the giant doggy dish!
As Plethador lays humiliated in the ring, Saint Bernard passes out WWSBD bracelets to the fans at ringside who mostly fling them right back at a disgusted Bernard...
*Swarm's search for a venue to host big FUCKING card continues as he meets in the shadows of Champions Hall with...
Massif!
Swarm: ...and what fat fuck 400 lb. loser Ken West did posting a photo shopped picture of Payback having sex with The Creeper - that wasn't a problem...?
Massif: Not any more than anything you've ever put in your fed promotion(s).
You've both requested on multiple occasions that certain people not
watch your matches -- why the fuck does that same courtesy not apply to you and their matches?
(Massif starts to get a boner...he opens his robe and begins to rub his nipples...)
Massif: Oh yeah...that's the stuff...
If you want people to respect you, maybe not acting like whining little bitches would be a good first step.
Bottom line: Fat fuck 400lb. loser Ken West called you on your own shit, you predictably acted like the little hypocrites that you are, and now Payback's on the bench for 30 days instead of the PERMANENT ban it should have been. I WAS LENIENT ON HIM THIS TIME!!
Massif starts to beat off in the middle of the landing bay!
Massif: Oh yeah! OH YEAH! Where are my cats...? Lick my balls cats! Lick them!
If I get another space PM or cosmo- mail from you or anyone else in your crew about this I will abandon that leniency and just delete your accounts and your contracts so I never have to deal with you again!
Massif splooges all over the side of the arena!
Massif: OH GOD!!! (to his cat) Don't move...don't move...
Swarm: You are fucking sick. Fuck you and fuck your board - I mean arena.
Swarm gives Massif the double finger, and in a totally unexpected move, kicks Massif off the landing bay dock and sends him falling billions of feet into dead space!
Swarm looks around for any witnesses...see's nobody, and walks back into Champions Hall...
*Xiongmao prepares for his O ZONE TITLE MATCH vs. Harm at big FUCKING card with a DQ. loss to Motor Psycho after PANDAMONIUM! Motor Psycho is left hurt outside the ring as Mot and Kram put over the fact that PANDAMONIUM will be 100% legal in the COSMIC CAGE MATCH at BFC 33...
*In her return debut to the GWFZ, Sabre scores an impressive two move squash over Nightmare Nikki with a super kick and LIGHTNING SABRE...
*Swarm meets up with the official GWF promoters back in the arena...Aqua Man and Darth Power Trip...
Aqua Man: I am Aqua Man. I am awesome. I have not changed...
Swarm: Ok.........
Darth Power Trip: The rules are simple here. (Darth Power Trip pulls out a long ass list of rules titled "The Galactic Code")
After every chest beating rule Darth makes sure to express his "YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" line clearly directed at not everyone reading his rules, all the while staring Swarm right in the eye!
Swarm: Very comforting...I'm already getting a warm and fuzzy feeling from your Arena. Way to start things off on the right foot pal...
Darth Power Trip: ...#2 everyone must like the same thing. Any disagreeing about anything including friends and "bros" will result in a swift and just action by me, or Aqua Man...This is a warnable/bannable offense...
#3 Don't talk about anything cool...no sports, no other wrestling, just GWF. This is a warnable/bannable offense.
Swarm: Wow...sounds great Aldolf...
Darth Power Trip: # 6...The say of the arena moderators is final, and all rulings about infractions are subject to the interpretation of the moderators, and possibly a phone call to your Mommy. This is a warnable/bannable offense.
Swarm: You sure are crabby today.
Darth Power Trip: BANNED! Banned for 24 hours! My first ban! YES! YES! I banned Swarm! Hey Aqua Man I banned Swarm for 24 hours YES!
Swarm: Ok this isn't going to work either...I guess it's time for plan C. C for "Cool"...
*A video of Cuddley Claw coming within inches of winning the MITB LADDER MATCH at ENDZONE is shown...
It is announced that Scimitar will cash in his chance at the GWFZ TAG TEAM TITLES at BFC 33 along side DSC vs. The Galaxy's Greatest Tag team in an EARTH LADDER MATCH!
As for Cuddley Claw...he earns a non-title match tonight vs...
Umagapotamus!
Umagapotamus destroys Cuddley Claw pinning the under bear with a Super Samoan Drop for the win. The Champ leaves Claw a bag of broken bones after multiple Running Hippo Butt Bombs and the little fells needs help from the ring on a stretcher!
*Swarm is seen one last time, this time leaving the arena, on his cell phone with Payback...
Swarm: hell yeah bro...our own arena...we're going to build our own arena to host big FUCKING card and it's going to be THE GREATEST ARENA IN THE GALAXY!
...No I'm not kidding...Fuck Massif and Fuck Darth Vagina...I'm sick of being held down by nerds...Move!
And in THE MAIN EVENT...
big FUCKING card opponents Strong and Ensor beat The Headliners when Strong pins Darth Brooks with STRONG!
After the match as Strong and Ensor have a stare down Umagapotamus hits the ring and attacks both men! Umagapotamus clubs Strong, catches an Ensor Elbow from Ensor, returns a Super Samoan Drop and finally is hit with STRONG!
Strong stands alone in the ring as the show comes to an end one week away from
big
FUCKING
card 33
this card has been brought to you by TGBITG.
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GFITG
Feb 18, 2008 22:53:06 GMT -5
Post by Matt on Feb 18, 2008 22:53:06 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]WOW[/glow]
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GFITG
Feb 18, 2008 22:59:16 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2008 22:59:16 GMT -5
WOW!!!
Fucking hilarious! Massif is a tool and he has major problems and insecurity issues.
Darth Power Trip can't hold any power over Swarm & Payback. Everyone should know that nobody gets one over on Swarm. Nobody!
Best line: Swarm: MOVE!
Love the stuff with Saint Bernard! WWSBD bracelets!! LOL! Great writing.
Big wins for Varsity and Sabre as well. Nice to see the new guys doing well in their debuts.
Strong - Ensor - Umagapotamus really heating up.
Can't wait to see BFC 33!
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GFITG
Feb 18, 2008 23:23:19 GMT -5
Post by Cory Olson on Feb 18, 2008 23:23:19 GMT -5
Wow! I told Tom years ago at G-Con that profanity should be added to the handbooks and this is why.  Awesome stuff, Swarm. Was I the only one who found humor in Plethador dropping his water bottle? |
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GFITG
Feb 19, 2008 10:26:48 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2008 10:26:48 GMT -5
bigFUCKINGcard 33" Move."  Live! From the brand new GREATEST ARENA IN THE GALAXY, Detroit Earth! Featuring...
MAIN ATTRACTION!GWFZ CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND ROBIN TOURNAMENT!Umagapotamus (c) vs. Ensor Ensor vs. StrongStrong vs. Umagapotamus (c) Plus... *GWFZ OZONE TITLE/COSMIC CAGE MATCH*Harm (c) vs. Xiongmao *GWFZ TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH/EARTH LADDER MATCH*
Overtime and Pride (c) vs. Claws and Knives
also...
*ULTIMATE AETHRAN ESCAPE MATCH*
Rush, Sledgend and Duplos vs. The Headliners and Moral Majority
*CENTRA COFFIN MATCH*
The Legacy vs. Tournament Master
*DEBUT MATCH*
Saint Bernard vs. Morbid
Symbiote vs. Plethador
Ares vs. Motor Psycho
Irish Heat vs. Hegemony
Cuddley Claw vs. Leviathan |
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GFITG
Feb 19, 2008 10:36:03 GMT -5
Post by neily on Feb 19, 2008 10:36:03 GMT -5
bigFUCKINGcard 33" Move." Live! From the brand new GREATEST ARENA IN THE GALAXY, Detroit Earth! Featuring...
MAIN ATTRACTION!GWFZ CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND ROBIN TOURNAMENT!Umagapotamus (c) vs. Ensor Ensor vs. StrongStrong vs. Umagapotamus (c) Plus... *GWFZ OZONE TITLE/COSMIC CAGE MATCH*Harm (c) vs. Xiongmao *GWFZ TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH/EARTH LADDER MATCH*
Overtime and Pride (c) vs. Claws and Knives
also...
*ULTIMATE AETHRAN ESCAPE MATCH*
Rush, Sledgend and Duplos vs. The Headliners and Moral Majority
*CENTRA COFFIN MATCH*
The Legacy vs. Tournament Master
*DEBUT MATCH*
Saint Bernard vs. Morbid
Symbiote vs. Plethador
Ares vs. Motor Psycho
Irish Heat vs. Hegemony
Cuddley Claw vs. Leviathan |
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GFITG
Feb 19, 2008 14:37:25 GMT -5
Post by ~KB~ on Feb 19, 2008 14:37:25 GMT -5
That was....................... the best friggin' thing I've ever read. Darth Power trip and Aqua man, hilarious!
Glad Plethador put over the new talent and was on the card.
Just don't kill Plethywhipwreck , PLEASE!
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GFITG
Feb 19, 2008 17:08:12 GMT -5
Post by Fringe on Feb 19, 2008 17:08:12 GMT -5
Awesome. Now that was... wait for it .... FUCKING R RATED!
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GFITG
Feb 20, 2008 21:04:09 GMT -5
Post by TheOtherTrav on Feb 20, 2008 21:04:09 GMT -5
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Awesome write up as always, Swarm. Looking forward to BFC even moreso now...
~Trav
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Awesome stuff, Swarm. Was I the only one who found humor in Plethador dropping his water bottle?
